Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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