she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
