Don't make out with my wife yet
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize