My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
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