quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
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She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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