jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
