I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
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The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
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I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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