To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
