in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize