Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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