we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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