all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
