So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
