Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize