is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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