my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize