at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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