I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Randomize
