Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize