I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
