I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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