Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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