So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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