before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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