Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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