Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
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Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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