fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
