So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
