i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
