oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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