the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize