so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
