shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Randomize
