Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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