Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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