I'm laying in your front yard are you home
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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