WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
