At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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