I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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