I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize