tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
