Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
