Define "chronic" masturbator.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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