So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I came so hard my ears popped.
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