i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
What a dumb baby whore.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
