the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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