I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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