I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
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