my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official drugs can't kill me
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize