so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
