Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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