Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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