it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
