Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Randomize
