i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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