JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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