omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Randomize
