i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
