Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
