he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize