I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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